All I Wanted
by Paranoia Doll
Summary: I hated him with every fiber of my being for this fact alone - I was intellectually inferior to him, to all of the kids at that house, and it seemed it was his mission in life to never let me forget that. That bastard. LxOC
1. Prologue

**All I Wanted**

_A/N: Alas, yes, my first ever Death Note fanfic just happens to feature an OC. Don't like it? Go away. The title is courtesy of Paramore, off their latest album, "Brand New Eyes". The prologue is short because I just wanted to give you an idea._

_DISCLAIMER: I do not own Death Note, nor its wonderful characters. I own Angie, her mom, and any other future OCs that may pop up.

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**Prologue**

It was such a huge place. That was the thing I remember most about it the first time I saw it. My eyes widened as my head craned up toward the sky, trying desperately to see the roof. It was tough; I could barely see over the top of the gate, even on the tips of my toes. I clutched one of the cast-iron bars with a tiny hand, surprised by how cold it was to the touch. It was then that my head snapped back down, a faint sound coming from beyond those bars. Children…it was other children playing! My lips formed into a giant grin as excitement flicked alive in my chest. It was distant, probably on the other side of the building. I wanted terribly to reach my arm through the bars of the iron gate and shout, as if maybe that would do anything, that someone would hear me.

It was then I saw a small child out of the corner of my eye, perhaps a bit older than myself, perhaps not; I was tinier than most my age. They sat, curled up under a large tree several feet away, shadowed by the large branches for the most part. I couldn't really tell much about them, although…they were looking directly at me. I couldn't really tell visually, but I felt their eyes on me the entire time I stood there. I raised the hand that was still at my side and waved shyly at the shadow. "Hel-"

"Angie! Come along!" my mother's voice called out from a few feet away. My head snapped to the right, toward the gate entrance where she stood with an older, graying man. I turned for a moment back to the tree and the shadow, where it still sat, it's stare still on me - at least that's how I felt at the time. A bit frightened, I huffed and let go of the iron bar, running toward my mother and the man.

"Mom! Something was staring me!" I whined in my high-pitched, squeaky voice, grabbing her hand and clinging to her side.

She let out an airy laugh, and glanced down at me in amusement. "What do you mean?"

I pointed dramatically over to the tree where the figure still sat, not quite knowing how to describe it. It was then that the older man gave a quiet laugh of his own.

"Ah, I see," he mused more to himself than us.

My eyes like saucers, I looked up at the man, still slightly afraid. "Is it a monster?"

I had not realized how loud my voice was but out of my peripheral vision I saw the shadow move out of sight. The man gave me a soft smile and knelt down to meet me eye to eye. "Of course not, my dear. There are no monsters here."

Not entirely sure still, I clung for dear life to my mother. Whatever it was, it certainly was strange and I wasn't quite ready to believe this man. It was then that all doubt disappeared for a moment as he pulled out a bright red lollipop wrapped in cellophane. He held it out to me and all fear vanished from my face, only to be replaced with a wide grin as my hand immediately let go of my mom and went for the candy. A few words were exchanged during my fascination with the lollipop as I stuck it in my mouth. My mother tapped me on my shoulder causing me to look up at her expectant look. "What do you say?"

I moved my gaze back to the old man and smiled brightly, candy still in my mouth. "Thank you, Mister!"

My mother sighed and the man laughed again. "Wammy, dear." He patted my head with another smile on his face. "Your welcome." He stood up again and held out his hand. "And welcome to Winchester."

My mom smiled graciously and shook the man…Wammy's hand. "Thank you."

A moment later, we had began walking away, back to our new home. I looked back, through the gate, trying desperately to find the shadow, but to no avail. My eyebrows furrowed but my attention soon averted; I was only a child after all. It was a short walk to our new flat, a small moving truck still parked outside in the drive way. I smiled a very innocent smile, completely unaware of the trials and true monsters that I would one day be forced to face.


	2. Chapter One: Shameless

_A/N: So, yes, finally chapter one. Life's been crazy and I needed a good bit of time to recoup. Anyway, this chapter I don't find particularly interesting, but I do enjoy that bit at the beginning. So…enjoy?_

Chapter One: Shameless

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_November 4, 2004_

"_**Granted, it's always a surprise."**_

_**Thunder shook the entire room, down to my very core. The phone remained glued to my ear as the hand holding it there shook wildly.**_

"_**It's all moving too quickly, I suppose. Every minute ticking by, every syllable I say, every image passing…yes, it was all far too quick."**_

_**---------**_

_November 4, 1997_

"Damn it!"

I continued, brush in hand, to scrub off the black crayon markings on the counter top rigorously, muttering foul language as to not let the kids know. I reached again for the orange spray bottle, pressing the trigger as if it were a gun shooting the perpetrator. It wouldn't have been such a big idea if I hadn't been doing the same exact thing the day before. The first time, I had noticed it was actually an aggravatingly long equation, more advanced than anything I learned in school. That had only frustrated me further and got me to scrubbing harder; this was in fact where the obscene language had first came in. I heard passing laughter from somewhere behind me, in another room. _And to think I could have been getting a head start on homework this weekend_, I grumbled in my head.

My arm now incredibly sore, I lifted it away from the counter top to see my progress. The equation was clearly still there, but faded and scratched away so much that the answer was no longer seen. I glared at the crayon markings once again and dropped the scrub brush as it fell to the linoleum tiles with a clack. I stalked off to the fridge a few feet away and opened the door to it. "I'll get back to it."

It's not as if I hadn't already mopped the kitchen and scavenged the entire house for dirty dishes, which was a particularly difficult task when some of the children insisted on locking their doors to spite me. Not many of course, and in their defense - which I didn't care for at the moment - they were children. I probably would've have found it equally funny if I were them.

It was then I heard a familiar giggle behind me. "You know it's impolite to go through a fridge that isn't yours."

"Are you kidding me?" I continued my search for food all the same. _Possibly something to drink as well. _"I practically _live _here, Soph."

"Oh, you do not," she said with another laugh. A few seconds later, a pale arm was hanging around my neck, connected to a pale, lanky girl with burgundy hair, impossibly bright green eyes shining with amusement. "Now, if you would be so kind, please hand me the milk."

I rolled my eyes and reached for the milk, shoving it into Sophie's hand. She gave me a wide grin and patted my head before walking over to one of the many cabinets to fetch glasses and then to the counter I had been spending the better part of an hour cleaning. It was then I found what I had been searching for. "Besides, Wammy told me I could help myself since I _am _helping out around here."

It was quite the situation, being a volunteer for a place like Wammy House. My mother had thought it would be a wonderful idea since she had figured I needed social interaction along with my community service credits. I closed the fridge with my foot as I spun around and took a seat beside the girl, plastic container in hand. I set down the container, carefully taking off the lid to reveal a large slice of chocolate cake laying in the plate. I fatigued look was instantly replaced with one of pure joy. Sometimes I think I might as well be a child still.

"I wouldn't eat that if I were you." She poured a glass of milk and slid it across the counter to me, as if to say 'but you will anyway'. I got up from my seat and walked over the drawer by the stove, pulling out a fork and smiling as if I had just achieved world peace. As I walked back to sit down in my seat, Sophie's tone became more serious. "He's going to know you ate it."

I blinked and gave the girl a wide eyed stare, feigning innocence. "Who is this 'he' you speak of?"

She poured the milk into her own glass as she went on. "And then there's going to be another argument."

It was then that I stuck the fork into the giant slice of cake and pulled off a piece, plopping it into my mouth. I heard Sophie groan as she took a drink before getting back up to put the milk away.

"In which he'll most likely win and _you'll_ stomp off before you resort to violence. Because, again, he'll most likely win."

I swallowed the mouth full of chocolate before sticking my fork back into the cake. "He started it."

"You're saying he started a fight that hasn't even happened yet?" She grabbed my arm before I could raise the fork up into my mouth again.

I shrugged, giving the girl a flat look. "It's his own fault. This particular piece of cake had been sitting in there for three days!"

"Three days ago, it was an _entire _cake."

"He had time to eat it," I said, struggling to get my wrist out of her grasp. "It's not like the man can't eat an entire cake in three days. He left it there. Thus, he started it."

She let go of my wrist and let out a light laugh as I continued to devour the chocolate cake. "Enjoy it while you can. This will only end badly." She blinked and made a disgusted expression as she watched me. "I'll let you know when he finds out though."

"How very considerate of you." Considering chocolate is not really my most favorite thing in the world, it certainly was a sight to see, almost like I really was only doing this for the inevitable fight that was right around the corner. I wasn't; I honestly hated those fights, mostly because I lose and I can be a very sore loser. It was only a craving sort of thing and he had made the mistake of leaving baked goods where I could see them. Aside from all this commotion, I couldn't care less anyway.

I took the empty container as I stood up and dumped it in the sink, filling it up with water. It was then I heard a crash coming from the other side of the house followed by the distinct sound of shouting. I wrinkled my nose and sneered, turning back to Sophie. "I should get paid for this."

"But you don't." She grinned at me as she raised herself from the seat and strolled out of the kitchen.

My jaw slight hung open as I looked over at where the girl had been sitting. The glass she had been using, only half empty, was still there, accompanied by a few specks of milk on the counter. "Clean up after yourself!"

"Can't hear you! Sorry!" was the reply that I got from an unknown direction.

I grumbled to myself more obscenities as I stomped over to clean up her mess.

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I had managed to make the first level of the house look at least decent before I began to pack up my books and whatnot in order to leave. I glanced out of one of the windows at the side of the front door to find the clouds had grown darker and the minimal sunlight we had that day was no longer spilling over the dying trees. I heaved a sigh, hoping that thunder wasn't going to come next. My eyes left the window as I zipped up my bag and slung it over my shoulder. I shoved my feet back into my shoes and zipped up my hooded sweatshirt, my other hand going for the doorknob.

"Ah, Angelica, leaving for the day already?"

My hand paused as I plastered on big smile and turned around to greet Wammy, hiding the cringe I made every time that awful name was said. "Good evening, sir." Upon meeting his expectant look, my eyes widened in realization. "Oh! Um, yes. I need to finish some work at home…home…work actually."

He chuckled lightly. "And how are your studies lately? Still having difficulties is Chemistry?"

My mother had put him up to this, I knew it. He would ask every so often usually to confirm that I had been telling her the truth, just to throw me off. "I've been getting better at it, I suppose."

"Well, if you ever need any help, I'm sure there'd be plenty of students here who'd be willing," he said with a soft smile, patting my shoulder. "Have a good night."

"Thank you." I smiled back, much less fake this time around. "You too."

I again reached for the doorknob, this time with success, and swung open the door only to find a boy with a familiar mop of blonde hair covering his face. I grinned at the boy, him not being one of the few who I can't stand. It's not really that I can't stand some of the kids there, it's only that some of them have a tendency to grate my nerves like none other, almost like they do it on purpose. I really wasn't as intolerable as I would sometimes make myself out to be. "Hey, kid. What's up?"

He didn't look up at me, but instead pushed past me roughly. My eyes followed him down the hall and up the stairs. The familiar sense of worry churned in my stomach as my mind wondered why he was so upset. I shook my head and let out a low growl. _No more distractions, damn it! Get out before it's too late! _

I shut the door softly behind me as the biting autumn weather practically slammed me in the face as full force. The night air was scathingly bitter but I wore on anyway. That was probably an overstatement, but most things were when I recalled them. I stuffed my hands in my pockets, hugging my coat closer to me as my steps quickened. The gate seemed particularly far off that day, as if the path winded down forever. Perhaps it was the cold that made it seem longer, or perhaps it was the defense mechanisms in my head that desperately were trying to avoid an immediate fight that would eventually rear it's ugly head anyway.

Maybe it was the fact that the last time this happened, a specific person watched the refrigerator like a hawk for a week and promptly decided to throw a party consisting of multiple sweets they made. I was not invited, but it was my job to clean it up. I sometimes wonder why my mother thinks it's so wonderful that I volunteered for this, instead of roadside trash picking like any normal teenager.

_Nope, I'll clean up after a bunch of overrated super geniuses until I crack._

I reached the gate in a huff and waited a few second for it to creak open as it did everyday as I left. It was then I realized it was not opening for me to leave but to let in a spotless, beautiful black car. Honestly, it was probably more that I was a sixteen year old girl and was in love with any car, considering I didn't have one of my own. All that admiration didn't stay for long though as I realized that I recognized the vehicle. I forced a large grin as I kept walking past the tinted windows. _That whole insanity thing might just be any day now._

My pace didn't slow as I turned, hitting the sidewalk and refraining from turning back, much like that first day so long ago. I could already see my house in the distance. In all reality, I could see it just fine from the orphanage but it seemed so far when those gates closed. I could feel my dread returning though; not because of the same reason as before, but more for the mere fact that I really did have homework to complete before the night was over. I grumbled under my breath as the grin was finally wiped off of my face. Suddenly the walk seemed all too quick, as I was already walking up my drive way into my empty house. In the window, I could already see a small ball of fur, bright green eyes visible in the middle of it. I sighed and opened the screen door, holding it in place with one foot as I dug for my keys.

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_I swear, the entire world is testing me right now._

Sitting at the tiny, uncomfortable desk by my bedroom window, I cracked open the thick textbook - the third that night - twirling my pencil in my hand. My eyes had grown heavy over the course of three hours, much more than they had during my time at Wammy's earlier that day. I was honestly beginning to think I might enjoy my minimal time there. At the mere thought, I shook my head roughly. I simply enjoyed it slightly more than school, which wasn't really saying much to begin with. My interest piqued though at the particular subject as the title finally made its way from my eyes to my brain. _Psychology Basics_. I grinned a bit, flipping through the pages before something else had caught my attention suddenly.

Out of my peripheral vision, I saw a flicker coming from outside my large window. I shrugged it off as faulty lighting somewhere down the road. That is, until the flickering sped up and became more like a strobe light. Seeing as my attention span was already wearing away the later it got, I glanced out the window, my sights aimed at the small annoyance. I squinted, trying to identify the source, when I realized which direction it was coming from.

On the top floor of Wammy's house, off in the distance, the light from inside quickly flashed off and on, repeating the process over and over again. For only a few seconds, confusion my only reaction until my brain processed the action. I'd never admit it, but I could be very slow at times. It was a surprise those kids tolerated me rather than my tolerating them.

Once the message 'clicked' - for lack of a better term - I wide grin spread over my face.

_He knows._

As if the tiny bit of news had instead been a shot of espresso, I readjusted myself in my seat and reached over to my small lamp on the corner of my desk. I only flicked the light off and back on once, but this was apparently just enough for Sophie as the strobe light had finally come to a halt a few seconds later. I laughed quietly to myself and reverted my attention to my studies.

By the dim light of my lamp, my eyes skimmed over the first few sentences in the first paragraph below the label _Chapter 3: Freud's Theories_. Aside from our completely biased teacher, who ranted for twenty minutes solely on Freud being a sexist pig, I knew next to nothing of the man and decided on make my own opinion of him.

I actually enjoyed Psychology for the most part. The thought of deciphering the human mind not by physical means but by studying the way we act was one of the most interesting things on earth. And considering the alarming amount of time I spent down the street with a bunch of geniuses, my interest had definitely surpassed any other subject I took in that prison. If I couldn't beat them intellectually, I might as well understand them better…or something along those lines.

"Angie! Lights out!" came the sound of my mother's muffled voice. "It's almost midnight!"

I snorted a laugh, my eyes shooting over to the alarm clock on my nightstand. 11:27. My mother was known for her exaggerations; in fact that was probably where I learned it from. "Alright!"

I had no reason to shout back so harshly other than the fact that I really did enjoy the subject. I closed the book quietly and stood for the first time in hours. I stretched my limbs, random sounds of crack and popping all going off at once in my joints. I pushed in the chair and went for the light one last time before my gazed was again locked on that house. I amazed me that it took him so long to figure it out in the first place. I could already see him sitting in his peculiar manner in the kitchen, planning out how he would seek revenge. I rolled my eyes and turned out the light, slightly wishing I had kept the piece of cake for later.

_Honestly, he can be so…childish._

As I stumbled around in the dark, my shin hit the side of my bed. I winced but plopped down onto the mattress all the same.

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End file.
